In my ideal world, I wouldn't work. But we have debt. I work to pay that debt. If we had no debt besides the standard monthly utility type bills and house payment, I would be home. So, I buy Set for Life scratch and wins and hope for the best. I would take the lump sum payment of $675K, by the way. I know that the $1000/wk for 25 years works out to be more money, but the lump sum would zero out everything, still leaving money for brand new vehicles for both of us, a nice vacation, and a good sized nest egg, so I never have to return to the working world, unless I get "bored". So far, that's not panning out though. Super 7 was a bust last night too. I owe, I owe, so it's off to work, I go.
Bored. That term is laughable. The chore might be boring, but I'm never lacking for things to do. Ever. I had a woman (girl, really) ask me if I got bored on mat leave. I laughed. Long and hard. She then admitted, that as a single, childless woman in her early 20's, she has no concept of what's required or needed of your time. Let's see - cooking, cleaning, laundry, budgeting, errands, shopping, weeding through clothes that are grown out of or worn out for the entire family, meal planning, yard work, playing with your kids, spending time with your husband so your marriage survives it all, the list is endless.
Shopping sounds fun. It's not though. Not so much anymore. Gone are the leisurely strolls through the mall, with lunch and stops at Starbucks. It's very goal focused now. It's get in, get what you need, and get out. And the mall, apparently only contains Children's Place, Old Navy, Sears, Zellers, the food court if we're getting whiny, and that's about it. I don't remember the last time I went in stores like RW&Co, Aldo, etc. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I fit in RW&Co. Nice work clothes are from Reitman's and I don't even go to the one in the mall for that. The one by Safeway has better sale prices/more clearance stuff. Shopping has become more about food, household needs, and clothes and shoes for a rapidly growing boy. Superstore is the only store I visit with any regularity anymore.
I digress, though. I could go on forever about shopping. And one day I probably will. Time. There's isn't enough. This is my *down* time today. I have groceries to finish putting away. A pantry to reorganize. Pasta and potato salad to make. Laundry to start. Plants to get in the ground before they die in their little cell pots. The dishwasher needs empying and reloading because last night's dinner dishes are still sitting on the counter. I have a huge list of things to do before Monday, so we can start a new week, ready to go with clothes clean for all, towels for drying off with, and meals to eat. If those three things are ready for the week, the rest is gravy.
One day I'll be a stay at home mom. I won't spend 11 hours away from home, 5 days a week. I don't know when that is, but it's going to happen. Please God, let it happen. I'm exhausted.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
"Treats"
As I stated before in my previous post, I don't believe in treats, as something special, or a reward. Food is for eating, not a prize for doing something you should be doing anyways. Sometimes it's a fruit or veggie, sometimes it's a cookie. Most of the time it is fruit or a veggie, or a whole grain cracker or something else nice and nutritious. Food is not love, either. Love is hugs, kisses, and praise.
I don't want my kids growing up thinking cookies, ice cream, slurpees, freezies, etc are "special" or "forbidden" foods. They're food. Granted, they're empty calories and that's why my butt is as large as it is. The belief that it's somehow some magical food that you only get when you behave or do something in exchange for is what leads to over indulging when it is available. I don't believe in just not having it available or not introducing it, either. It's a cookie. Big deal. They're yummy.
Speaking of which, here's a good basic chocolate chip cookie recipe. They're nice and soft if you follow it exactly. Which is why the descriptions are a little strange.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
3/4 cup margarine, partially melted (butter doesn't turn out the same)
1 cup brown sugar, lightly packed - you want it to hold it's shape on the bottom, but still fall apart. I use golden yellow.
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt, like 1/4 tsp
2 cups flour
3/4 bag chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Cream together margarine and sugars until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until almost double in volume. Add in baking soda, salt and 1 cup of flour, and mix well on medium. Add in other cup of flour, and mix well again. Add in chocolate chips, and combine well. Scoop by spoonful (a generous teaspoon from your flatware - I use a Pampered Chef medium scoop). Bake for about 8-10 mins, until just set and lightly browned on edges. Let cool on pan for 5 mins, then move to cooling rack.
I don't want my kids growing up thinking cookies, ice cream, slurpees, freezies, etc are "special" or "forbidden" foods. They're food. Granted, they're empty calories and that's why my butt is as large as it is. The belief that it's somehow some magical food that you only get when you behave or do something in exchange for is what leads to over indulging when it is available. I don't believe in just not having it available or not introducing it, either. It's a cookie. Big deal. They're yummy.
Speaking of which, here's a good basic chocolate chip cookie recipe. They're nice and soft if you follow it exactly. Which is why the descriptions are a little strange.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
3/4 cup margarine, partially melted (butter doesn't turn out the same)
1 cup brown sugar, lightly packed - you want it to hold it's shape on the bottom, but still fall apart. I use golden yellow.
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt, like 1/4 tsp
2 cups flour
3/4 bag chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Cream together margarine and sugars until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and beat until almost double in volume. Add in baking soda, salt and 1 cup of flour, and mix well on medium. Add in other cup of flour, and mix well again. Add in chocolate chips, and combine well. Scoop by spoonful (a generous teaspoon from your flatware - I use a Pampered Chef medium scoop). Bake for about 8-10 mins, until just set and lightly browned on edges. Let cool on pan for 5 mins, then move to cooling rack.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
My method of motherhood
I would like to say I'm an average mom, but these days, I'm not. I don't participate in what is considered the standard these days for mothering. At least by my observations. Those standards place enormous pressure on a new mom and I don't agree with it. I figure you're doing well if your baby is fed, dry, clean and happy. I'm not knocking those who do subscribe to what's popular for parenting these days, if that works for you, by all means, knock yourself out. But it wasn't for me or my family.
I didn't breastfeed. I pumped for a month, hated what a time suck it was, and gave up. We use disposable diapers. I only did babywearing because it was the only way he'd stop crying for just 20 minutes in the first 3 months. Co-sleeping because it was easier to roll over and give him a bottle and just fall back asleep, than both of us getting up out of bed, making the bottle, feeding, and settling back down every 2 hours in the beginning.
I did set out with the best intentions like any new mother does. I tried to breastfeed, but Cole would have none of that. He wanted his food and he wanted it now. Granted, he was a very sleepy jaundiced, hypoglycemic baby, but still. I researched cloth diapers. Then I got a reality check when I realized we shared laundry with the people upstairs and only had it on odd numbered days. Not practical with constant washing from the fabulousness that's a newborn diaper. I wanted to use organic formula, if I was going to have to formula feed. That got knocked down when Mike told me in no uncertain terms that I was never to give Cole organic baby food because it's on constant voluntary recall for whatever reason. I was big into the "rules", but Cole went against them. No solids until 6 months? At 6 months he was eating the 8 months aged baby food. He'd started sucking back 10oz of formula every 3 hours at 14 weeks, and we got told by the neonatalogist to start solids.
Cole is 16 months now. I'm a pretty relaxed mom, I think. He's had freezies. I looked at the healthier options. They're not any healthier really. Mr. Freeze that we all know and love and grew up with is fine. He'll also try and steal your slurpee, so keep an eye out for that. There's no such thing as a treat in our house. It's all food. Food is not a reward. He lives for the chocolate chip cookie the bakery ladies give him when we go grocery shopping. I don't hover. He's going to get hurt. That's part of being a kid. When he does trip and fall, he gets up and just keeps going. No drama, no tears, just keeps going. If there's tears, I'm at a dead sprint to help him. I'm his mom and I love him with all my being.
My house is a mess, the empty bowl from his Fruity Cheerios is still sitting on the table from breakfast, I need to do about 4 loads of laundry, haul a roast out of the freezer for the bbq for dinner tonight, and a million other things. We're going to the park though. I could try and do all this stuff with his "help" but that's better suited for nap time. Or I'll sit outside and get some sun then. Whatever. It will get done. And enjoying each other and our time together is far more important.
I didn't breastfeed. I pumped for a month, hated what a time suck it was, and gave up. We use disposable diapers. I only did babywearing because it was the only way he'd stop crying for just 20 minutes in the first 3 months. Co-sleeping because it was easier to roll over and give him a bottle and just fall back asleep, than both of us getting up out of bed, making the bottle, feeding, and settling back down every 2 hours in the beginning.
I did set out with the best intentions like any new mother does. I tried to breastfeed, but Cole would have none of that. He wanted his food and he wanted it now. Granted, he was a very sleepy jaundiced, hypoglycemic baby, but still. I researched cloth diapers. Then I got a reality check when I realized we shared laundry with the people upstairs and only had it on odd numbered days. Not practical with constant washing from the fabulousness that's a newborn diaper. I wanted to use organic formula, if I was going to have to formula feed. That got knocked down when Mike told me in no uncertain terms that I was never to give Cole organic baby food because it's on constant voluntary recall for whatever reason. I was big into the "rules", but Cole went against them. No solids until 6 months? At 6 months he was eating the 8 months aged baby food. He'd started sucking back 10oz of formula every 3 hours at 14 weeks, and we got told by the neonatalogist to start solids.
Cole is 16 months now. I'm a pretty relaxed mom, I think. He's had freezies. I looked at the healthier options. They're not any healthier really. Mr. Freeze that we all know and love and grew up with is fine. He'll also try and steal your slurpee, so keep an eye out for that. There's no such thing as a treat in our house. It's all food. Food is not a reward. He lives for the chocolate chip cookie the bakery ladies give him when we go grocery shopping. I don't hover. He's going to get hurt. That's part of being a kid. When he does trip and fall, he gets up and just keeps going. No drama, no tears, just keeps going. If there's tears, I'm at a dead sprint to help him. I'm his mom and I love him with all my being.
My house is a mess, the empty bowl from his Fruity Cheerios is still sitting on the table from breakfast, I need to do about 4 loads of laundry, haul a roast out of the freezer for the bbq for dinner tonight, and a million other things. We're going to the park though. I could try and do all this stuff with his "help" but that's better suited for nap time. Or I'll sit outside and get some sun then. Whatever. It will get done. And enjoying each other and our time together is far more important.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Our Family
There's Mike and I and our son, Cole. It really is crazy on an ordinary day here most of the time. At least it feels like it. A 14 and a half month old toddler, who is in to everything and whose preferences and moods change hourly. Two parents who both work full-time and then some. A house that never seems to stay clean. Dinners that somehow show up on the table somewhere between 7 and 8. A backyard that's under renovation. An hour long commute each way for both of us. Add in trying to enjoy our lives and each other, and it's craziness most days. This is going to record it all for us.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
How about some pics?
I'm a horrible person, rambling on about Cole and never even posted pics. Oh, and he's home. :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Welcome Cole Robert!!!
I was admitted last Tuesday (Feb 5th) for pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure and toxicity), we spent a few days in the hospital and they decided to do an amnio to check Cole's lung maturity and induce labour if he was ready. While doing the ultrasound for the amnio, they discovered he had stopped growing pretty much about 3 weeks before that, which was when my last ultrasound was. Because my blood pressure had been so high, it was restricting blood flow between Cole and the placenta and effectively starving him. It was then they decided they didn't care if his lungs were mature enough or not, and decided to induce and get him delivered.
They started inducing labour on Thursday, and it took awhile. My water finally broke and contractions started in earnest on Friday morning. Cole's heartrate started dropping dangerously low during contractions so they did a test where they take a sample of blood from his scalp to see what his oxygenation level was like, and if he was in serious danger. I was in an OR for a forceps delivery less than 10 minutes later since I had fully dilated, and they could get him out that way without the trauma of a c-section. Cole was born at 3:39pm on Friday, February 8th. He was 5lbs 13oz, 18.25" and 4 and a half weeks early. He is the most beautiful, best behaved, quietest baby. I never thought I could love anyone this much.
Mike had been in the hospital with me since Tuesday sleeping on a pull out recliner that went flat to a bed. Cole was checked out by a pediatrician at delivery and sent to room with us, assumed healthy. He spent 2 days in our room, and then had a blood test done to check his billirubin levels since he was getting jaundiced. Totally normal in newborns, especially preemies. When they did that bloodwork, they did a random glucose check. His glucose level was dangerously low. So we had to force a ton of formula into him to try and get his sugars up. It didn't work. The same pediatrician who checked him out following delivery decided to admit him to the NICU for glucose IV therapy to try and bring it back up.
Cole was transferred to the NICU at Royal Columbian (we were there already) on Sunday night. I have never had my heart break so completely before. I don't think I've ever cried so hard or much in my life either. He's doing somewhat ok now. His IV is gone, but because of the low blood sugar he has to eat a certain amount every 3 hours to keep his sugars up. Unfortunately preemie babies with low blood sugar and jaundice are lazy babies. And well, he is our kid too. LOL. But the laziness makes him unable to eat all his food at every feeding, so yesterday they had to put a tube in his nose to force feed him what he won't take in a bottle. He was born too early to breastfeed, so I pump a lot and he gets my milk that way. He should pick up on that in about 2 weeks they figure. Now, Mike and I spend a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital for feedings and cuddle time. Mike is an amazing dad and does all the bottle feedings while I pump. Cole won't take a bottle from me because he can smell that I've actually got the real thing, and why should he eat from a bottle when I'm right there. He has to eat exclusively from a bottle or breast for 48 hrs before he can come home.
They started inducing labour on Thursday, and it took awhile. My water finally broke and contractions started in earnest on Friday morning. Cole's heartrate started dropping dangerously low during contractions so they did a test where they take a sample of blood from his scalp to see what his oxygenation level was like, and if he was in serious danger. I was in an OR for a forceps delivery less than 10 minutes later since I had fully dilated, and they could get him out that way without the trauma of a c-section. Cole was born at 3:39pm on Friday, February 8th. He was 5lbs 13oz, 18.25" and 4 and a half weeks early. He is the most beautiful, best behaved, quietest baby. I never thought I could love anyone this much.
Mike had been in the hospital with me since Tuesday sleeping on a pull out recliner that went flat to a bed. Cole was checked out by a pediatrician at delivery and sent to room with us, assumed healthy. He spent 2 days in our room, and then had a blood test done to check his billirubin levels since he was getting jaundiced. Totally normal in newborns, especially preemies. When they did that bloodwork, they did a random glucose check. His glucose level was dangerously low. So we had to force a ton of formula into him to try and get his sugars up. It didn't work. The same pediatrician who checked him out following delivery decided to admit him to the NICU for glucose IV therapy to try and bring it back up.
Cole was transferred to the NICU at Royal Columbian (we were there already) on Sunday night. I have never had my heart break so completely before. I don't think I've ever cried so hard or much in my life either. He's doing somewhat ok now. His IV is gone, but because of the low blood sugar he has to eat a certain amount every 3 hours to keep his sugars up. Unfortunately preemie babies with low blood sugar and jaundice are lazy babies. And well, he is our kid too. LOL. But the laziness makes him unable to eat all his food at every feeding, so yesterday they had to put a tube in his nose to force feed him what he won't take in a bottle. He was born too early to breastfeed, so I pump a lot and he gets my milk that way. He should pick up on that in about 2 weeks they figure. Now, Mike and I spend a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital for feedings and cuddle time. Mike is an amazing dad and does all the bottle feedings while I pump. Cole won't take a bottle from me because he can smell that I've actually got the real thing, and why should he eat from a bottle when I'm right there. He has to eat exclusively from a bottle or breast for 48 hrs before he can come home.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Some belly pics
I'm huge. I know that. I'm the size of someone having twins (seriously - my belly measured 41 weeks today, I'm 35). Anyways, here's a couple I haven't posted yet.
29 weeks
30 weeks - Christmas Day
33 weeks
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