My method of motherhood

I would like to say I'm an average mom, but these days, I'm not. I don't participate in what is considered the standard these days for mothering. At least by my observations. Those standards place enormous pressure on a new mom and I don't agree with it. I figure you're doing well if your baby is fed, dry, clean and happy. I'm not knocking those who do subscribe to what's popular for parenting these days, if that works for you, by all means, knock yourself out. But it wasn't for me or my family.

I didn't breastfeed. I pumped for a month, hated what a time suck it was, and gave up. We use disposable diapers. I only did babywearing because it was the only way he'd stop crying for just 20 minutes in the first 3 months. Co-sleeping because it was easier to roll over and give him a bottle and just fall back asleep, than both of us getting up out of bed, making the bottle, feeding, and settling back down every 2 hours in the beginning.

I did set out with the best intentions like any new mother does. I tried to breastfeed, but Cole would have none of that. He wanted his food and he wanted it now. Granted, he was a very sleepy jaundiced, hypoglycemic baby, but still. I researched cloth diapers. Then I got a reality check when I realized we shared laundry with the people upstairs and only had it on odd numbered days. Not practical with constant washing from the fabulousness that's a newborn diaper. I wanted to use organic formula, if I was going to have to formula feed. That got knocked down when Mike told me in no uncertain terms that I was never to give Cole organic baby food because it's on constant voluntary recall for whatever reason. I was big into the "rules", but Cole went against them. No solids until 6 months? At 6 months he was eating the 8 months aged baby food. He'd started sucking back 10oz of formula every 3 hours at 14 weeks, and we got told by the neonatalogist to start solids.

Cole is 16 months now. I'm a pretty relaxed mom, I think. He's had freezies. I looked at the healthier options. They're not any healthier really. Mr. Freeze that we all know and love and grew up with is fine. He'll also try and steal your slurpee, so keep an eye out for that. There's no such thing as a treat in our house. It's all food. Food is not a reward. He lives for the chocolate chip cookie the bakery ladies give him when we go grocery shopping. I don't hover. He's going to get hurt. That's part of being a kid. When he does trip and fall, he gets up and just keeps going. No drama, no tears, just keeps going. If there's tears, I'm at a dead sprint to help him. I'm his mom and I love him with all my being.

My house is a mess, the empty bowl from his Fruity Cheerios is still sitting on the table from breakfast, I need to do about 4 loads of laundry, haul a roast out of the freezer for the bbq for dinner tonight, and a million other things. We're going to the park though. I could try and do all this stuff with his "help" but that's better suited for nap time. Or I'll sit outside and get some sun then. Whatever. It will get done. And enjoying each other and our time together is far more important.

Our Family

There's Mike and I and our son, Cole. It really is crazy on an ordinary day here most of the time. At least it feels like it. A 14 and a half month old toddler, who is in to everything and whose preferences and moods change hourly. Two parents who both work full-time and then some. A house that never seems to stay clean. Dinners that somehow show up on the table somewhere between 7 and 8. A backyard that's under renovation. An hour long commute each way for both of us. Add in trying to enjoy our lives and each other, and it's craziness most days. This is going to record it all for us.

How about some pics?

I'm a horrible person, rambling on about Cole and never even posted pics. Oh, and he's home. :)

Welcome Cole Robert!!!

I was admitted last Tuesday (Feb 5th) for pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure and toxicity), we spent a few days in the hospital and they decided to do an amnio to check Cole's lung maturity and induce labour if he was ready. While doing the ultrasound for the amnio, they discovered he had stopped growing pretty much about 3 weeks before that, which was when my last ultrasound was. Because my blood pressure had been so high, it was restricting blood flow between Cole and the placenta and effectively starving him. It was then they decided they didn't care if his lungs were mature enough or not, and decided to induce and get him delivered.

They started inducing labour on Thursday, and it took awhile. My water finally broke and contractions started in earnest on Friday morning. Cole's heartrate started dropping dangerously low during contractions so they did a test where they take a sample of blood from his scalp to see what his oxygenation level was like, and if he was in serious danger. I was in an OR for a forceps delivery less than 10 minutes later since I had fully dilated, and they could get him out that way without the trauma of a c-section. Cole was born at 3:39pm on Friday, February 8th. He was 5lbs 13oz, 18.25" and 4 and a half weeks early. He is the most beautiful, best behaved, quietest baby. I never thought I could love anyone this much.

Mike had been in the hospital with me since Tuesday sleeping on a pull out recliner that went flat to a bed. Cole was checked out by a pediatrician at delivery and sent to room with us, assumed healthy. He spent 2 days in our room, and then had a blood test done to check his billirubin levels since he was getting jaundiced. Totally normal in newborns, especially preemies. When they did that bloodwork, they did a random glucose check. His glucose level was dangerously low. So we had to force a ton of formula into him to try and get his sugars up. It didn't work. The same pediatrician who checked him out following delivery decided to admit him to the NICU for glucose IV therapy to try and bring it back up.

Cole was transferred to the NICU at Royal Columbian (we were there already) on Sunday night. I have never had my heart break so completely before. I don't think I've ever cried so hard or much in my life either. He's doing somewhat ok now. His IV is gone, but because of the low blood sugar he has to eat a certain amount every 3 hours to keep his sugars up. Unfortunately preemie babies with low blood sugar and jaundice are lazy babies. And well, he is our kid too. LOL. But the laziness makes him unable to eat all his food at every feeding, so yesterday they had to put a tube in his nose to force feed him what he won't take in a bottle. He was born too early to breastfeed, so I pump a lot and he gets my milk that way. He should pick up on that in about 2 weeks they figure. Now, Mike and I spend a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital for feedings and cuddle time. Mike is an amazing dad and does all the bottle feedings while I pump. Cole won't take a bottle from me because he can smell that I've actually got the real thing, and why should he eat from a bottle when I'm right there. He has to eat exclusively from a bottle or breast for 48 hrs before he can come home.

Some belly pics

I'm huge. I know that. I'm the size of someone having twins (seriously - my belly measured 41 weeks today, I'm 35). Anyways, here's a couple I haven't posted yet.

29 weeks

30 weeks - Christmas Day

33 weeks

OB Update

I saw the high risk OB today. He put me on blood pressure medication to try and bring my blood pressure down. His goal is try and get another 4 weeks out of the pregnancy, and get me to 38 weeks. If I make it to 38 weeks, then I'll be induced. He's a really nice guy and very reassuring and relaxed. Makes a huge difference when you're scared about your baby. So, now I see him every week as well. I really hope this helps.

Big updates

So, things have been progressing. I need to use insulin twice a day now to manage my sugar levels. That's not so bad I found out. I don't even feel the injections.

Christmas was good. Spent New Year's Day in the hospital thanks to really low pressure, tightening and back pain. Of course, everything was fine, but I was told to take it even easier. Found out the next week at my prenatal check, that that would be forced. I'm on full bedrest until I'm either induced or go into labour on my own. I had gone to the diabetes clinic earlier that day, found out I gained 11.5 lbs in 2 weeks, had protein in my pee, my blood pressure had jumped considerably, and that my belly was measuring 40 weeks at 32. The endocrinologist wrote a note for my doctor, I gave it to her and was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. I also have some pretty bad swelling in my hands, feet, face, and legs. So, on top of that, my doctor thinks I have polyhydraminos (excess fluid) in my belly. I have an ultrasound Tuesday morning to check out my fluid level, and get an approximation on the boy's size in case he does need to be induced early. I also have an appointment next Wednesday with a high risk OB to discuss the possibility of early induction. Right now, it's assumed that every extra day and week is good, and I'm trying to make it to 36 weeks. The upside is he's happy in there. He's moving lots and his heartrate is always strong, which is good.

So, with the idea that he could be here very soon, everyone is trying to get things done with me directing from the couch. Mom is cleaning, cooking and doing laundry for us. Mike is trying to keep up with the rest, along with assembling furniture and gear, shopping, and organizing things in the baby's room, etc. Grandma and Mike's mom went shopping for the rest of the things we need for the baby. Mel and Winston have been over to help as well.

So, things are moving along. Quickly. I'll try and get Mike to take pics of the baby's room to post this week.